A New Beginning All Over Again

I'm not sure if anyone is even reading anymore, we kind of let this thing drift off, and I'm sorry. Our grand adventure to backpack around the world has been put on hold. Chase found some incredible opportunities that could not be passed up, and after traveling alone for a few months I decided to discontinue my rambling as well, at least for now. I feel now more than ever the desire and the need to start maximizing my potential, and the life of the tramp had become distinctly unsatisfying. I made it safe to California, though it turned out not to be quite the lucrative venture I had anticipated. It was, however, quite a finish to an amazing summer. From Gunnison and Durango, I headed up to Grand Junction, where I caught my last real golden ticket of the summer. After two beautiful Crested Buttians got me to I-70, i only waited twenty or so minutes before I was picked up by Bill. Bill was a 77 year old Virginian who was making his annual pilgrimage cross-country to see his family in Nappa county. We traveled together for two days through the barren, desolate wastelands of Utah and Nevada, cruising at high speeds down "America's loneliest highway," Route 50. After he dropped me off outside Sacramento, I was picked up almost immediately by a very friendly Californian who got me the rest of the way to highway 101 while we talked about Carl Jung and true love. I spent the next three weeks bouncing up and down that highway like a pinball on crack. I went as far north as Arcada, and as far south as Santa Cruz, and couldn't for the life of me find what I was looking for. I think that was because I didn't really know what I was looking for. It sounds kind of silly, but I guess I was looking for the American Dream; this great golden opportunity that would drop wealth and security in my lap and get me to that point that I should always have been at, if only I'd just had the money. Fat chance, I know, but I was so sure it was out there waiting for me. California is a strange place though, and I found myself out of place even on the road. Everywhere I went, hordes of street kids occupied town parks and highway sides. There was even a line at the on-ramp in Garberville, with some 5 different groups of kids waiting to hitch, while dozens more hung out in the shade and waited for the heat of the day to pass. It was strange, because all my rides were great, but anytime I would get where I was going, I would feel strange and need to move on. I felt almost no connection to these kids that were doing the same thing as I was, only somehow completely different. Then one night, after pursuing a tip for some work from a friend to Lake Port, CA, I met Molly McCloud. She actually stopped me while I was walking up the road looking for a place to sleep, and after a few minutes conversation, she offered me a place to stay. I think we both fell in love, briefly, with the idea of each other, and we had a very strange, very interesting couple of days together. She ended up being the last straw though. After several weeks of confusion and chaos, the emotional roller coaster she ran me through left me completely burnt out. From Lake Port, I bolted straight for Colorado. I am now in Gunnison, CO, my home. I have decided to return to Western State College to finish my degree and get it behind me. After two years now of drifting somewhat aimlessly, I am very excited to be putting my talents and efforts towards some more intellectual pursuits, concentrating and focusing inwards once more. I would like to thank everyone very sincerely for taking such wonderful care of me and providing me my path. I am currently working on a novel of my travels and experiences, and I hope to see that project finished in the not too distant future. Many of you will be in this book, and I thank you for all your inspirations. I also have some very interesting plans for this site in the future, so don't forget about it completely. I would love to keep in touch with everyone that cares too, my e-mail address is james.holzer@yahoo.com. I have a facebook and myspace at the same name, and if you e-mail me, i will give you my cell phone, which is turned back on again. Though my travels have taken a temporary break, my journey continues to take me places I could never have imagined, and I am constantly held in awe at the splendor that is life. And it is a fleeting thing, life, so make sure to cherish it always, and take advantage of every single moment. Thank you for sharing my journey with me, see you next time.
- James Holzer, The Gonzo Nomad.

California or Bust

First off, sorry again for the long delays in posts. It has been a very pleasant couple of weeks now running around Colorado, and I just haven't made the time to sit down and update. Last we spoke, I was eagerly awaiting Yonder at Red Rocks, and then planning on heading out to Burning Man with Chase. As per usual, life did not go "according to plan." After some serious discussion, Chase and I decided not to attend Burning Man this year. After months of looking forward to it, we realized that we were really not anything close to prepared to go spend a week in the desert living the way we have been living, and so we made other plans. Chase returned to Massachusetts to pursue some leads that he had established there, but I'll let him get more into that himself. I ended up staying in Colorado and bouncing around the state for a while waiting for a Ween show at Red Rocks. Quick note, Yonder was amazing, as predicted. We got a pretty good family crew together for the show, and the Yonder Mountain boys threw the fuck down! To top it all off, at the end of the night, they gave copies of their new CD away to everyone in the sold-out crowd. The next week, I saw my first Ween show, also at Red Rocks. It was another great show, and I got to see a bunch of friends I hadn't seen together in some 3 years. Afterwards, we all caravaned up to the Macy house in Conifer to shoot pool and drink beer all night. Thank you again to Mike and Julie for letting us use their beautiful home while they were away celebrating their 25 year anniversary. Right now, I am in Durango getting everything ready for my return to the Pacific, and soaking up as much Rocky Mountain sun as I can. I have spent the last few weeks trying to figure out exactly what it is that I am going to do with myself. My journey does not seem to be moving with quite the inertia that it was at the beginning of the summer, and I have been doing my best to figure out why. While I was in Gunnison, there ended up being some family issues that I needed to be present for, and while I was around, Gunnison did it's best to get back under my skin. Right now I am torn pretty equally between returning to Western State College for the spring semester or continuing the journey despite the loss of my traveling partner. In the 4 months that have elapsed, I have already learned a very great deal about myself and the role I will play in the changes to come, and I feel like getting stationary again for a little while to reflect and be productive could finally be a good thing. I also feel that if I decided to, I could still fan the flames back up and carry this thing as far as it can go. Either way, tomorrow I will be heading out to California to pursue some work. I made several connections on farms around the state, and am going to try and go make some money for the fall harvest season. Hopefully, by next week sometime I'll have found someplace to hang out for 6 weeks or so and make some money for the winter. I have finally found my own personal yoga practice, and am looking forward to some good hard farm work and some time to delve inward for a little while and figure out my next step. It was really cool, because after getting stuck in Gunnison for two extra days, the first person to stop took me all the way from Blue Mesa reservoir to Durango. I jumped in his car, and he asked me where I was going, saying that he didn't really know himself. He was on vacation, and hadn't been through that part of Colorado in 25 years, since his stint at Western State in the 70's, and asked what the drive to Durango was like. After telling him a little bit about Ouray and Red Mountain Pass, he got real excited, and he even ended up letting me drive his cool Pontiac G5 over the mountain. This one ended up being a little bit more journal entry than anything else, so thanks for sticking with me. More to come...

Hometown Healing

It has been a less than rest full, but much needed week in Colorado. As soon as I got to Denver I headed back up to the Gunnison valley, my home. The cool thing about home is, every time you come back, you get the little piece of yourself that you left behind last time. Due to the rapid approach of Burning Man, I was only able to spend a night apiece in Gunnison and then Crested Butte, and was only able to see a handful of the family I have there, but it was another amazing weekend. I actually got choked up enough to cry, just for a second, as I was leaving town to meet up my old friend Johnny B, on his way out of the valley for the foreseeable future as well. The bummer thing about home is, every time you depart without knowing when you will return, the piece you leave behind gets a little bit bigger. But the ride back to Denver was good. For anyone currently living in, or planning on visiting Boulder, CO, watch out, you are about to have a Texas-sized tornado-o-fun dropped on your town. In fact, he's already there... The last couple of days I have been running around trying to see everyone in Denver and failing miserably. I've gotten most of the core now, but shit there are a lot of them here. For the first time, I almost miss having a cell phone. Tomorrow I am finally going to get to meet up with my dad, which means one of the best meals I've had in the last couple of months, as well as some also much needed paternal love. Then Friday is Yonder at Red Rocks, which I must say is one of my favorite days of the year, for the last bunch of years now. After Xavier Rudd, I will have seen Yonder Mountain String Band share the Red Rocks stage with: String Cheese, Umphrey's Mcgee, Keller Williams (a couple times), Michael Franti and Spearhead, New Monsoon, Willie Nelson, the Allman Brother's Band, Gov't Mule, Rodrigo y Gabriella, Todd Schneider, and John Fishman (ech). I have a lot of people I consider family in the Kinfolk community now, and it is always great when 8,000 of them get together. And then after that, the path to Burning Man, which I'm still a little fuzzy on details for...That should be quite a wild freak-fest, and I promise to record it all with the integrity of a true Gonzo journalist. That's all for now, May the four winds blow you all safely home...

What Next?

Here comes another big one, sorry it's been so long, but i have been really busy. Well, maybe busy isn't exactly the right word, but very occupied. I realized the other day that there have now been somewhere around a dozen 72 hour or so periods where I haven't even seen a building, which I think is kind of cool. I guess I should start back at String Summit, because I never really gave a good account of what happened from there anyway. So all weekend I spent running around with Alex, Haley, and a good bunch of Colorado family. Horning's Hideout is awesome, and I think the high point of the weekend might have been at the end of "No Expectations" on saturday night when a space station flew overhead and we all turned down the lights and stared at it together. You can hear it all on Archive.org, check it out. It was, as expected, a completely magical experience, and I urge anyone that can to go and participate sometime. As they always do, Monday morning came far too quickly, and I said "goodbyes" to everyone and headed down to the recycling barn to go make myself useful. A few crazy days and nights later, after I had fallin in and out of love in 48 hours, I ended up in Diego Fuego's van headed north. Diego, or Doug for short, and his girlfriend Lacy were heading back up to the ranch where they lived so that Lacy could gather her things and move back to Portland to continue on her path towards her p.h.d. The plan at that time was to head up to the farm with them for a few days and bale hay to hopefully make some cash and some good square meals. Then I was going to head back to Portland with them and go see my new friend Linda. When we got to the farm, I met Brian, or just B, and his nephew Mason, who was visiting for a few weeks from So Cal, along with Mary and Bob, the proprietors of the Hoh Humm bed and breakfast ranch. I got some great pictures of the summit and the ranch, but sadly, my camera was stolen out of the van somewhere in Montana, and I lost them all. On that note, I would love it if people started submitting pictures of the places mentioned, or of yourselves, its time to start making this more of an interactive experience. I currently need pictures of: the 8th annual Northwest String Summit, the Hoh Humm ranch, Polebridge and Glacier National Park, and Lolo Hot Springs and the Darkstar Orchestra show that took place there. Anyway, I hung out at the ranch where I learned all kinds of cool things, and we discovered the Darkstar show. Doug and B each had not much going on, and needed an adventure, so invited me to join them on a road trip to go see Darkstar Orchestra at Lolo Hot Springs, 45 miles southwest of Missoula, MT; and meet some of their friends up at Polebridge, which is the little pirate town at the mouth of west Glacier. I immediately agreed, and we set about getting ready for the journey. We spent a week fixing the van, taking care of things around the ranch, and turning a Llama into jerky for the journey (it was an extra male, and llama herds don't operate well with too many males when in captivity as they all fight for dominance). We still headed back down to Portland for a few days, and I got to go spend them with Linda, the queen of the Ganja Fairies. Linda is an amazing, beautiful woman that has a really cool piece of land southeast of Portland. She most definitely has fairies that live on her property with her, and that sounds kind of silly until you see the place... but we also have the same birthday, which is really cool. It got up to 109 while we were hanging out, which I hear is close to record setting temperatures for Portland. After several fun days with Linda, I met back up with Doug, and we headed back up to the ranch to get B and the jerky. As it turns out, the ranch is about 40 miles south of Forks, WA, which I guess is the setting for those stupid vampire books that everyone seems to be reading. I only say they are stupid because I haven't read them, but Forks is capitalizing on the fad in a huge way, and there is even a store there called "Searching Twilight" or something dumb like that. Fucking vampire kids... So we grabbed the last of the supplies and headed east again. We blasted through the night, and made it from the northwest coast of Washington to Glacier Natl. Park in 15 hours, and hung out at Polebridge, riverboarding and playing volleyball for a week. We stayed with the Ramone family, who are some of the nicest people I have ever met, and made a different group of friends every night with the tourist flow through traffic from Glacier. The plan was to show up to Lolo early and get ourselves on volunteer crew rather than pay for tickets. This was the 12th festival that Doug did this for so far this summer, and it is really easy if you don't mind working. We left Glacier and made it to some state campgrounds called Lee Creek a mile or so west of Lolo. The campground host here is hereby nominated for biggest douchbag in the universe, by me, officially. After we made sure to double check with him that we were camped legitimately and for the appropriate fee, he still woke us up the next morning demanding that we pay up, or he was "callin the cops." So, groggy, and freshly woken up, we asked what the problem was, and he explained that he had no record of us paying him, and that this was a crime, blah blah blah, and that we owed him $10 immediately. After having already put the $5 our national parks pass said we owed into the box, we gave the dude a 20 and apologized sincerely for any misunderstanding, and went back to bed. About an hour later, the jackass shows back up with Ranger McFriendly, whom he had called and told that we refused to pay. When we stumbled back out of the tent again and tried to sort things out, the old bastard had the nerve to stand there for twenty minutes and say that he had no receipt of us ever paying, and he didn't know anything about our money. Finally, after all three of us refused to budge, and the ranger started seriously losing interest, he grumbled something about thinking that we were making a donation to the park, he would go run and grab a receipt, blah blah blah. If you drive by here and see the grumpy old bastard that works as the campground host for Lee Creek, pee on his door or something. Nothing seriously harmful, just teach the old fuck a lesson, or maybe just drive up and give him a hug out of the blue, I think maybe that would be better actually. Again, sorry for tangenting out (made up word, I know) but the Ranger there told us about some hot springs up the way with free camping that we would probably like a lot more, so we headed west on route 12, and ended up at Weir Creek. A small parking lot at the end of a guard rail near milemarker 142 are the only trailhead, but there are a dozen or so primo campsites and a few very nice rustic pools starting about a half mile up the trail. The first one is about 105 degrees and sits 7 comfortably. We hung out here for about a week eating fish that Doug caught and a big back of bacon we had got for 5 dollars. We had bacon in I think 6 meals in a row there. Delicious. After the springs, we rolled over to Lolo four days before show time, and got hired right away. Lolo hot springs is a very very cool little place, with two large cemented in pools, one hot, one warm, a bar with a great pool table and jukebox, and then across the street, room for at least 1000 people to camp. Up behind the bar is a 12 hole, backyard frisbee golf course that is a lot of fun to play. One of the friends I made hit two holes in one, including a double eagle on this par four. It was awesome. The whole resort is located in a little bowl where the valley opens up for about a quarter mile to make the perfect little bowl of rock around the river. The sound was amazing, and despite the rain that never really seemed to let up until monday, Darkstar threw down and rocked the house for two nights. It was really cool getting to see the entire festival happen, from putting up the first fence to tearing everything down on sunday morning. Those guys are having another party the 21 and 22 with Jessica Kilroy and Railroad Earth. If you can make it, you should, it will blow your mind how cool this place is. This is where the Hoh River crew had to split up, unfortunately, and B had to head back to take care of some very serious family shit that came up, and me having to start heading south towards Burning Man. I was planning on going to Grand Targhee Bluegrass, but I think an extra week in Colorado is going to be a little bit better for my headspace right now, especially with the Burn fast approaching. Right now I am hanging with Eric, or Matthias, in Billings, MT, with Jennifer and her beautiful family. We are partying down at a railroad earth show here tomorrow night, then I am heading to Denver and CB on Thursday. The last few weeks have been a wild crazy ride, and a continuing affirmation that I am on that path that I need to be on. I have seen and felt things that can not possibly be conveyed in writing, and have reached some very interesting conclusions on life. Again, conclusions might not be the right word, because they are only observations that I'm sure will change and grow constantly throughout my life with me, but some "seriously heavy shit" nontheless. I apologize too that this entry is so sporadic, i'm just kind of barfing stuff up that still hasn't been completly digested, but I had to get something out. Again, sorry about the pictures, but I'll be getting stuff up. Thank you to everyone that has helped me along on my journey, with everything from a hot meal to a kind word or a smile, and especially for all the great rides. Thank you to everyone for listing and exploring the world with me. I love you all.
G. J. Supertramp...

Border to Border, Coast to Coast

It has been a little while since i have updated because it has been a little while since i have seen a computer. We are currently hanging out at a place called Polebridge, Montana. The closest thing to civilization here is the one flush toilet at the saloon. It is basically a mountain pirate outpost at the mouth of Glacier National Park, 20 miles from the Canadian border. This is another place where time seems to barely move at all. Tomorrow, my friends from Hoh Humm (Brian and Doug) and I will head through the park and do a week long hotspring tour leading up to the Geothermal Jerry Bash. That is going to be two nights of Railroad Earth and DarkStar Orchestra at Lolo Hot springs. From lolo we will head to Grand Targhee Bluegrass festival, and then I will part from my new friends and head down into Colorado and out towards Burning Man. Sorry this post is so rushed, but the battery power is dying on this laptop, so I will post more soon.

"What kind of an adventure is a straight line?" - Linda, queen of the Ganja Fairies

Babylon to Zion

Ahhhh!!! This is how I am feeling. I don't know any other way of putting it. I feel like I have once again over committed myself to far to many places. I am teaching out in Lenox and need to be in Nevada in less then four weeks. I need to stop in New Mexico on the way and being so close to home it would be crazy not to stop in Colorado. I have the option to possibly go back to school but may be cutting everything to close and at the same time I am trying to backpack around the world. Ha, when it is all down on paper it sounds as ridiculous as it feels. Oh and lets not forget to mention the added ingredient of love.

Ah love, what a crazy thing. It will knock you off track in a heartbeat and destroy your emotional state in moments while at the same time making you feel happy. I have been a little love drunk over the past month and I think it is time for me to get back on my own horse and ride. Really, I mean here I come with my big plans. Doing my own thing and then there she is one of the loves of my life put back in my path, and for that matter I back in hers. What is this all supposed to mean I don't know but I can surely say we will both learn something from it. It is hard to make someone happy in a materiel world when you are a anti-materiel man. I swear everything would be easier if I believed in the false security of money. I have to walk away from a life that ties me up with materiel attachment, so is this to mean I have to walk away from love. This is a much harder thing to do then to say. As soon as I even begin to walk away I feel my heart drop, this is the payment for letting myself get foolishly swept up in emotion. I will have to stand tall and speak my truth and let the cards land where they may. I am on a journey towards Zion not back into Babylon.

A king asked a sage to explain the Truth. In response the sage asked the king how he would convey the taste of a mango to someone who had never eaten anything sweet. No matter how hard the king tried, he could not adequately describe the flavor of the fruit, and, in frustration, he demanded of the sage "Tell me then, how would you describe it?" The sage picked up a mango and handed it to the king saying "This is very sweet. Try eating it!"

They who give have all things; they who withhold have nothing.

The man who is happy and pure
And likes his own company
Gathers the fruit of his practice
And the fruit of wisdom.

The man who knows the truth
Is never unhappy in the world.
For he alone fills the universe.

Peace Love Light,
Dr. Avatar

I know only this...

Soon I will be back on the road heading towards Nevada. I have had much time to reflect and to see my most beautiful Jane. I am almost fully healed physically and am happy to report I am wearing sandals again. When you drop your arch you can't wear sandals for those of you wondering what sandals has to do with anything : ) I have found that the ability to look at the world through panoramic glasses can change your life! This is no joke if there was only one peace of advice I could give before I die it would be to breath (practice pranayama: google it if you need to : ) ) If there where two it would be the first one and to learn to see through panoramic glasses. Both of which can change your life and the ways you see your environment. So by this point some of you are saying what the hell is this guy talking about panoramic glasses, I will explain. Panoramic glasses are as simple as they sound : ) It is when you allow yourself to look at everything in your field of vision, just allow your eyes to open so that you see your normal field of view and your peripherals at the same time. Go ahead give it a try. Ok now we have all practiced panoramic viewing for our first time. Next time you feel upset, or you can't remember something, or even when you are just relaxing try putting on your panoramic glasses and see how you feel. For those of you who really want to feel great try putting the #1 and the #2 together. It will change your life! And change is ____ good : ) Lets all say it together Change is ____ good : ) Ahh we just started a little shift in consciousness. Ok enough preaching. I will be working my way to Burning Man soon. I will let you know as I continue on in my journey. I am sorry that we (the writers) have been slacking. The life we lead doesn't always allow for computer breaks.
Love Peace and Chicken Greece,
Dr. Avatar

Long ago I rambled questions about what I was to be
a writer a teacher a hollywood preacher, a doctor a lawyer the next tom sawyer.
But all along I would always know the answer to my rambling soul.
It was no doctor preacher or teacher that would guide me deeper and deeper.
It was something more then I care to admit the thing glowing as i sit.
upon a rock in a beautiful pond where I longed to be all along.
I wished for light upon my eyes not the kind you see on the first try
on and on it would go; until no longer i would know; the answer to my rambling soul.
because within me it would beat just as clearly I could see.
A prisoner of my conquered dreams left to question what is me.
I know only this and its what i'll say
when all roads have been traveled only god knows the way

Surfing with Blue Whales

Today was a day that was worth an entry all in itself, so here goes. I woke up for a little bit of a late breakfast up at the ranch house. All the guests of the b&b had already left for the day, and business was getting back to usual. Doug, Brian and I made plans to find and kill the deer with the gimp leg and turn it into jerky for our trip to Montana. Then we were going to finish putting up the tin on the wall of the barn, and then Brian and I were going to go surfing. After cruising around for an hour in the farms 4x4 gator drinking warm Coors light we accomplished only discovering that the deer had healed its leg, and deciding that we really no longer had a good reason to kill it for jerky. Besides, we still had the llama, which tastes delicious with some good seasoning. Then, we discovered that there were no tin snips with which to cut the tin for the barn siding, and that Brian would have to pick up a pair on our way to the surf spot, so we headed out. The spot we were headed for was a semi-secret cove a mile away from the most northwestern point of the United States, in Wanasuke Bay(probably misspelled, I'll look into it). From the white sandy beach you could look out over the water, which turned slowly from crystal clear sky blue to a deep dark ocean blue all the way to Canada. This was cool, because at least now I've seen Canada, even if I haven't gotten my passport stamped yet. We spent the better part of the day going back and forth between catching waves, and laying on the beach watching a young bald eagle swoop around the point. At one point, we noticed a large plume of water shooting upwards, and as we pointed and wondered, there was another plume, and a giant blue whale fin came gliding out of the water. It repeated this process for a few minutes, then disappeared once more to the depths, leaving us both with huge grins on our faces. We returned home to a farm feast of roast beef, mashed potatoes, peas, fresh steamed cabbage, and rice, with a couple of strawberry rhubarb pies that finished cooling as we finished eating. Brian and I forgot the tin snips, but it didn't matter because one of Doug's friends had come by to hang out for the afternoon, and had had a pair in his car, so we just made a bonfire and sat around it digesting for a few hours. Pretty damn much livin "the Good Life." Now, i am exhausted, and I am going to crawl into my hammock. Goodnight. oh, and pictures to come, sorry.

Post Summit

Sorry everyone, that it has been so long since the last post. I ended up spending an entire week up at Horning's Hideout, dancing and recycling and making friends. Right now, I am at the Hoh Humm Bed and Breakfast Ranch somewhere in the middle of coastal Washington. In the last week now, I've seen Yonder play 9 hours, including a 22 musician super jam, I've helped sort the recycling and trash for some 2000 hippies, I've gotten laid, I've built a barn door, and I've finally learned how to slaughter an animal and turn it into meat and supplies, all without a dollar in my pocket. Pretty much just L-I-V-I-N! Horning's Hideout, for those of you that don't know, is maybe the coolest concert venue in the country. And you guys know how much I love Red Rocks. I heard Bob Horning called "the last great American Man," and he decided to turn his families land into a sort of outdoor paradise. I think the property is somewhere around 100 acres of Oregon forest, 25 minutes west of Portland. There are lakes, streams, what is soon to be the largest Frisbee-golf course in the country, and 88 peacocks wandering around peacocking at you. There is also a big, bad-ass stage that was built entirely of logs harvested from the property and probably 50 perfect campsites cleaned out. You owe it to yourself to go out and see this place, whoever you are. A quick note to all you Colorado folk, there is a Swedish string band coming through in the next few weeks called the Abalone Dots, find out where they are playing and go see them, they are incredible, and beautiful. Anyway, the "plan" right now is to hang out up here at the ranch until Monday or Tuesday when we will be heading for Portland for a night, then Montana to go hop on the festival circuit for a few weeks, including a two night Dark Star show at some clothing-optional hot springs at the mouth of Glacier National Park. Sounds interesting, right? After that, maybe I'll actually make it up into Canada, or maybe just head back to Colorado for a minute for the Yonder Red Rocks show, and then Burning Man, and then...(?) Sorry also that this post feels so disjunctive. I have finally really gotten into the moment, and have been living here perpetually for the last few weeks, and its cool, but my concept of time has been completely thrown off-kilter. Being out at the ranch doesn't help either (or maybe it does) because time just generally seems to move slower out here. Once you get the chores done for the day, there is really nothing to do but find ways to entertain yourself. Thanks again to everyone that reads this, and enjoy your summers. Go have yourself an adventure and remember, "What the hell kind of an adventure is a straight line?"

Exploration... Internal or External?

It has been some time since I have posted. I have been spending a lot of time contemplating my journey. Questions like; am I on the right path; am I doing this for the correct reasons; The answer is always yes and no. I have found myself in the midst of a very real question, one that man has been asking himself whether he knows it or not for all eternity. "Is it the path of inner exploration that truly defines our understanding of the outside world, or is it the exploration of the outside world that truly defines our understanding of the inside world?".
I have been spending hours in meditation and asana practice and have been truly listening to my body. I am still here in Massachusetts after almost three weeks. I was supposed to be in Canada five days after I arrived here, which brings me to the question of why I am still here. I arrived here with the utmost intention on leaving and yet am still here.
When I left Colorado to begin this journey I left with a bum foot and a very cheap poorly made backpack. I had grand plans of how I would live off only what the forest provided. I would fully remove myself from a system that in most ways is built of sweat and debt. Instead I found myself living off of others charity, this was not the plan and a partial reason for my decision to leave home. I am now around 6000 miles in to my journey and it brings me back to the Berkshires.
A little history of the Berkshires, it was the spiritual practicing grounds for the Mohican Indians, then after steeling there land it became the spiritual practicing grounds for the Jesuit monks, then after a fire and to big of a debt for the Jesuits to pay it was bought by Amrit Dasai one of the spiritual leaders of the 20th century. The point I am trying to make is that this land has been the conduit of spiritual practice since man lived on it. There are lightning storms here that you would think only exist on a movie set, and a energy that runs through it that can't be explained. I am now here again and finding my spiritual practice, the thing I hold most important over any travel destination or any person. So yet again I repeat the question "Is it the path of inner exploration that truly defines our understanding of the outside world, or is it the exploration of the outside world that truly defines our understanding of the inside world?"
I have chosen to spend some time here rooting into the ground and reentering myself. This is not a choice that I came to easily. I had to look at the signs that are constantly being put in my path. I have a foot that I can barely walk on and as a result am having touble in my lower back from over compinsation. I am barely able to support my backpack and am being offered many oppurtunities here to grow my practice and to teach others what I have learned so far. I feel that this is truly the best choice for me at the current time. I leave the question that I have said twice already to each of you who read this and would love to hear your responses through comment.
"Is it the path of inner exploration that truly defines our understanding of the outside world, or is it the exploration of the outside world that truly defines our understanding of the inside world?"
I ask this question with open ears to anything anyone has to say. I will write more soon as my journey progresses.

"Though I may not have traveled as far and wide as some, my journey has been my own"

Rocky Mountain High

Gunnison County is an amazing place. It is also a place where even the most thought out plans change in the blink of an eye, so hold onto your hat when you get here. My plan was to roll through Gunnison, see part of my family, then head up to Crested Butte to see the rest of it. I was planning on blowing in on a breeze, giving the few that mean the most to me a good hug, then riding the wind back down to Gunni for the evening. The next morning I was going to head out of town toward Grand Junction where I was going to hop on a freight train through the Rocky Mountains and the desert out to the coast, where my thumb would get me the rest of the way to Portland. Now, when I say hold on to your hat coming to Gunnison, you had better hold on to your face when you roll into Crested Butte, especially if you have any gypsy in you. I should have known what was coming when it took me longer to find a ride out of Gunnison than it had to find a ride all the way there from Denver. Much love to Carol for the smooth sailing all the way to Monarch pass. But like I said, I got to Gunni, and life just moves slower. So slow in fact, that I had to end up taking the free bus up to the Butte because my thumb just wasn't cutting it anymore. A few hours later, the tribe had been assembled, and we headed to the bar for "just one drink." Famous last words, I know. So after a beautiful CB sunrise, I headed back down to Gunnison to see the people I had missed by not making it back the night before. My ride was in the "Pimpin Purple Pirate Party Palace with advanced Powers of Police Protection." The lovely captain Jessica, and her badass dog Jackson had just gotten back into town in their sweet new gypsy van, and were heading out to the lake before finding somewhere "permanent" to park their new home. I was going to spend one more night in Gunnison, and then continue on to Grand Junction on Sunday instead. It is now Tuesday, and I am still here. Maybe I just got "Gunnied" or something, but I woke up Sunday morning having had strange dreams, decided not to listen to them, and hit the road. I didn't even make it to the hitching post before I started getting bad vibes, and after a half an hour with my thumb out, I decided to listen to my gut. I had found a ride the night before in the Butte that was leaving for Portland on Wednesday, and had decided not to take it because i didn't want to spend that long in town. As it turned out, my "little sister" had thrown her back out that day at work, and needed a nurse to take care of her for the next couple, so it's a good thing I stayed. I am getting in a car headed for the Summit tomorrow, so that is great, and then I think I'll head north into British Colombia, maybe Alaska, maybe somewhere else, I'm kind of over trying to make predictions, so we'll all just kind of find out together...

somewhere 'round 10k miles so far...

Well, I made it back to Colorado. I will be in Denver for about 8 hours, which I will spend sleeping, and then back straight onto the road towards Gunnison and then Portland, OR. The drive cross-country went totally smooth, with the exception of a speeding ticket in smelly Ohio (the whole midwest is so totally worthless...) Not much else to report on yet, but i felt like updating. We did pick up a hitchhiker along the way, which was cool. I think he was a little bit of a wingnut, or maybe just not all there in the head, but he was friendly enough, so right on. We dropped him off in Lincoln, NE, another totally worthless place, and made it the rest of the way from Indiana. The good 'ol bible belt, choking the country to death with "good" intentions. That's all for now, but there is much much more to come...
In a nomadic lifestyle, the nomad is sustained by his travels.
He is an expert at adaptation and tends to carry everything he needs
with him, always.

The nomadic life is a constant search, relentlessly seeking the best
experience. A strange appeal of this, however, deals with confronting
something we all meet at some time: death.
Throughout human history, the owl has been recognized as a symbol of
dread, knowledge, wisdom and death. Our Nomad has come to a point
in his journey in which he is face to face with the owl.
Is he there to gain wisdom? Is he about to die?
Just another affair in the quest for the best life...we all have them,
some of us just don't see them.
What is your inner nomad seeking? Find it. that was in an e-mail i just got about one of Icelantic's new badass ski's, thought it was fitting. if you ski, check these out, they are FUCKING SICK!!!!!

Some thoughts on love and life...

It's strange, the way things work out sometimes. The things you think are so important one day are nothing but memories the next, and doors you thought closed long ago come swinging open out of nowhere and smack you right in the face. After another week in New York, I am finally heading back west. I spent the 4th of July on top of a roof watching the sunset and the fireworks with my best friend. The city rolled out from us in every direction, and you could feel the life teeming through it, shooting electricity through the cool summer night. I made more friends in central park, some awesome travelers that were about a decade further into their journeys. There is a little bit of New York in my blood now, I think maybe there always has been, and the city will always own a little piece of my soul. Just like the madness of civilization makes me yearn for wide open, quiet places, sometimes the quiet makes me yearn for a little chaos. The mountains are calling to me now though, and I will run to them in the morning. The more I travel and live, the more I see the beauty in every person. We are all just humans, trying to find happiness, and if you smile back at the person flipping you off, you make the world a better place, in your own little way. If everyone that reads this could please do me one little favor and smile at the next stranger they see, it would be awesome. I love my life, and I hope you all love yours just as much.

Your eyes shine like the sun
Peeking out from stormy skies
The memory of your kiss
lightens my heart and my path
Shining in the dark like the North Star.
I love you so much.

Back to the City

I finally made it back to Queens, wet and a little weary. Bear with me on this one folks, it might get a little long, the last five days feel a bit like i got dragged through a hurricane. From Maine, I was making great time towards Buffalo. I was getting rained on most of the way, but I was headed to see Yonder, so I was all smiles. It was Saturday morning, and I had about 250 miles left, with plenty of time to make it for the show, when I had the first of several encounters with New York's "finest." This cop pulls up to me on my on ramp to I-90, which is a tollway, and tells me that I am not allowed to be anywhere near the expressway. The on ramp I was on was really just a big highway interchange in basically the middle of nowhere, and there was nowhere for me to go, so the officer gave me a ride to somewhere I was allowed to be. Unfortunately, this happened to be some back road in the middle of upstate New York, and the cop didn't really give me anything in the way of directions towards Buffalo. I spent the next several hours walking ten miles up this road trying to get back to the highway, enjoying the beautiful scenery, but still pretty pissed about the whole situation. By the time I finally got back to a highway, i realized there was no way I was going to make it all the way to Buffalo in time, so I started heading back towards Troy, NY, where Yonder was playing the next night. I made it to Troy about 4 o'clock in the afternoon, and after about a half an hour, decided that Troy was not really worth hanging around in for 30 something hours just to see a band i would be seeing in a few weeks anyway. I think this decision was sparked by the bout of loneliness i had been feeling all day. Having spent the last week sharing a bed with someone i care about very much, waking up alone in my hammock on the side of a highway had me feeling a little depressed and lonely. The rain and the cop side tracking me were also both contributing, and I was a little bit burned out. The prospect of wandering around Troy all afternoon by myself, then finding a hobo camp somewhere, then wandering around all day the next day alone didn't seem very appealing, and i was only a couple hours north of the city, so I decided to head back a little early, feeling that there was still plenty of light to make it back with. I caught a puddle jumper down to Albany, the next town away, and the capital of New York. The ride was a really cool guy on his way to play a gig in Albany, and he gave me a little bit of pot for the trip, then pointed me in the direction of the nearest on ramp. As I walked around the corner of the on ramp with my thumb out, my spirits sank a little more. Sitting on the side of the road, 50 feet away, was a squad car with it's light already on, investigating some pile of trash on the side of the road. I immediately turned around and walked back the way I had come, but it was too late. Within a couple of minutes, the cop had found me and was demanding i.d. I gave it to him, then he instructed me to go stand in front of his car where he could keep an eye on me. As I set my pack down, i felt his hands patting me down. Before i could protest and exert my 4th amendment rights, he felt the small pipe i had in my pocket and informed me that would now have to place me in handcuffs while he searched my stuff. He told me that I was being momentarily detained, not arrested, and that I would be on my way as long as I didn't have anything else illegal. Hoping to get some points for honesty, I preemptively told him about the small amount of pot that was stashed in my tobacco pouch, knowing that in the state of New York, the amount I had would probably not even warrant a ticket. He thanked me, placed my belongings on the hood of his car, and placed me in the back. For anyone that has not ever had to be handcuffed in the back of a squad car, keep up the good work. It is probably the most uncomfortable, degrading places I have ever been. I guess that is all a little redundant, but man does it suck. Anyway, my license is clean, and the cop had already found everything in my possession that was illegal, so a few minutes later he let me out to one of the more interesting encounters I've ever had with a cop. I walked up to the front of the car to grab my pack, and noticed my pipe and weed still sitting on the hood. The cop walked over and we had the following conversation:
"Well, why don't you decide which of those two things you want to keep, put it into your pocket, and throw the other into the woods."
"Wait, you mean i get to keep one?"
"Yeah, I know this whole situation probably really sucked for you, I'm sure it would be nice to have something to put your mind at ease."
"Well, yeah, definitely, but, really?"
"Sure man, what they don't know can't hurt anyone."
"Well thanks a lot man." I grabbed the pot, put it back in my pouch, then tossed my pipe into the woods next to the road.
"Now my town line ends about a half mile up, I don't want to see you hitchhiking here again."
"Fair enough, why don't you give me a ride there then."
He kind of smirked at this, then smiled and replied "You want a ride? Sure, why not man."
So I hopped back into the car, and he dropped me off literally on the side of the interstate, with no place at all to walk, then told me stay safe, stay off the road, and drove off. It was one of the strangest juxtapositions I had ever experienced, so i rolled a little joint and smoked it on the side of the highway with my thumb out.
**Disclaimer - i realize that by writing about this experience I might make a few of you a little disappointed. I've been trying not to mention the drugs because that's not at all what this is about, but this experience had to be written about, so now that's "out of the bag"**
I felt very strange about the whole experience, but the sun was back out, and I was back on the move, and I was actually starting to feel a bit better about things. I was still an easy hitch away from the city, and after some good jamming on the harmonica, I was smiling again, ready for whatever came next. Over the next two hours, two people stopped, but they were both heading north, and i was still thinking i was headed for the city, so i turned them down. The sun was starting to set, and I realized that I had killed a lot of the time that I didn't want to spend in Troy, so I turned my life over to fate. I exclaimed out loud to the world "Alright, wherever the next car is going, I'll go with them. If they are going south, I'll head for the city, if they are going north, I'll go back to Troy and see my favorite band in the world." I felt pretty good about the decision, and within 20 minutes or so, I snagged myself another golden ticket. Walking up to the car, I really had no idea what to expect. The car was a shiny, new looking white 4-runner, and the driver was a guy with short hair, and a striped polo shirt, so like I said, I had no real idea what to expect. Little did I know, I had just been picked up by the wild card "Even Steven" ("with a v, for vixen.") I hop into the car, and tell him I'm going wherever he is. His response is to invite me to a party at his brothers house. Never one to pass up a good party, I accepted, and we were on our way. The ride was pretty short, just up to the Saratoga Lake area, and we spent it talking about life on the road. Steven works out of his car, and we empathized about not having a bed and a couch to go back to at the end of the day. We pulled up the house, a really nice ranch style out in the middle of the woods, and i hopped out, most of my doubts long gone. We walked out to the backyard, grabbing some beers out of the STOCKED fridge, and I got my first real taste of upstate NY. It was his brother's roommate's girlfriend's birthday party, so it was mostly just a bunch of good friends hanging out drinking beer and throwing horseshoes. I immediately made a bunch of good new friends, and we spent all night playing shoes, playing beerpong, drinking "cocaine ladies" (a deliciously dangerous drink made up of 6 kinds of creme booze, vanilla vodka, and a splash of milk) and throwing around one of those cool glow-in-the-dark frisbees. I passed out in a corner at some point, I'm not really sure, but i held the beer-pong table all freakin night, which is probably why I don't remember falling asleep. I do remember the several buckets of fresh-baked clams that kept coming out. I have never been to a "clam-bake" and oh my freakin god. I probably scarfed down twenty of those little fuckers. Delicious. So then I woke up the next morning to find the occupants of the house out on the back deck enjoying what was left of the beers. A few minutes later, Steven walked out in his boxers and handed me another cocaine lady to start the day with. We spent the morning drinking and enjoying the beautiful sun finally decided to spend a whole day with us. Eventually, Steven had to be getting back to life, and promised to drop me off at the concert venue in Troy. Thank again to all of you guys up in Saratoga for showing me such a great time, you guys are fucking awesome. So back to Troy. On the way, Steven told me that before I left, i had to try Vermont's "Magic Hat #9," one of the northeast's best micro brews, so just before he dropped me off, we stopped and picked up a twelve pack. We drank down a few in the parking lot outside the show, and then Steven left me to get back to work. Even Steven, the wild card. Thank you so much man, stay cool, see you next time. Now, i found myself at the venue, with 4 hours to kill and 8 beers to drink, so i posted up next to the door and started trying to make friends. I've never had such a hard time giving beer away, but I got to hang out and chat with Yonder's bus driver for a while, chatting about the road. At one point, Jeff Austin got dropped off on the corner, looking like the crazy party animal that he is, and wandered around for a few seconds trying to find the door. Eventually, I made some friends who let me stash my pack in their trunk, we finished the beers, then were the first ones in the theatre to get the best seats in the house. Revolution music hall, in Troy, is a really cool venue. There is a small dance floor downstairs, with a badass balcony that rings around the upstairs, 20 feet away from the stage. We got a table on the balcony directly centered on the band. It was my new friends first Yonder show, and the boys certainly didn't fail to blow us all away. We got a "Come Together" cover, "After Midnight," and the "Crazy Train" that I have literally been waiting four years to see. Fucking awesome show. I LOVE Yonder Mountain String Band, and anyone that reads this owes it to themselves to find a way to make it to a Yonder show. After the show, my friends were heading north, and I was still trying to go south, so we parted ways, and I got my thumb out at the entrance to the lot. Thanks for sharing your first show with me guys, I'm glad you had such a blast, and the show is up on Archive already, so check it out. Within ten minutes, my next ride stopped to grab me, and guess what, it was another golden ticket. The Dan's picked me up, and told me they were heading to Albany for the night, to do some more heavy drinking, and then Dan Loper, the driver, was heading back to his hometown of Pine Plains the next day, and that I should come to both. We made it to Albany, found a bar serving a "5 dollar burger and beer" special, then played pong for a few hours till we all passed out. The next day was what really turned this ride into a golden ticket. Dan brought me back to Pine Plains, NY, a small, really beautiful upstate town. We grubbed out at his parents house, then he took me up "Hick's Hill" to his friend's home, where I got introduced to the Hicks Hill crew. The house was the family home of Molly and Jonah, and sat on 30 something acres of forest that backed up to state land. The property had at one point been part of the commune up the hill, and had been part of over 100 acres, but at some point, things got weird, as they do, and the family dropped out of the weirdness to just be a family again. Everyone had to go split off and take care of things for the day, but were all coming back together that evening for a bar-b-que and party. While everyone was out, Molly showed me around the woods they had all grown up playing in. These kids had the fortune of growing up without all the bullshit filters that suburban America forces on you, and were legitimately some of the nicest, most well rounded people I have ever met. At one point, even Molly had to go into town to take care of some things, and left me alone at the family house. We had already become friends, but still, for anyone to have that kind of trust in a stranger is a very rare thing these days, and it made me respect them even more. Eventually, the whole crew came back together, and we spent all night dancing, eating, drinking, and making merry. There was this field just under the back deck that filled with fireflies at night, creating a truly beautiful sight that pictures did no justice to (those pictures are forthcoming, I'm still missing a cord.) I met the beautiful amazing activist Brit Sisco, who is right now campaigning for climate change awareness, fighting the good fight for almost nothing. We had a really great time together, and then she drove me down to New Paltz, NY the next afternoon to start working south. Thank you so much guys for truly changing my perspective on upstate. I wish you all the best of luck in all your endeavors, you are all fucking amazing people who I can't wait to see again. From New Paltz, it was a pretty easy couple of hours back down into Jersey then onto a bus into the city. With the exception of the torrential downpours i got stuck in (I literally haven't seen rain this hard in years) I made it back safe and sound into the madness of the city. "Safety, obscurity, just another freak in the freak kingdom." Now I've got a few more days to dig the city with Dylan and my family, then its time to head west. Damn, anyone still with me at this point, I think you just read chapter 6 in the book... (and the spellcheck isn't working on this computer right now, so i did it manually, but if I missed anything, sorry mom...)

Heading North a Little Slow

So I was supposed to leave towards Canada this last friday but it seems as though the universe had other ideas. I will be staying in Lenox Massachusetts to watch over a yoga studio until Saturday and then will be heading towards Nova Scotia on Monday. I am excited to be back on the road, but I will surely miss the family I am leaving in Mass. I was in a yoga class yesterday when I had Eddie Vedder's Long Nights come on and I was reminded of my inspiration to go on this backpacking trip. To walk a road less traveled, one that we are taught to be so scared of. One we are scared to travel alone, when at the same time it may be the way of the road. "There is a pleasure in the pathless woods; There is a rapture on the lonely shores; There is society, where none intrudes, by the deep sea and the music in its roar: I love not man the less, but nature more..." Lord Byron

New Life in New England

I guess, to start things off, hitchhiking on the east coast is not nearly as hard as I had anticipated. I started off right in Queens, and got picked up within ten minutes to make it over the bridge and onto I-95. From there, it took me about four rides to make it to Providence, RI. Again, not to offend anyone that may enjoy it, but FUCK Rhode Island, capital letters and everything. This smelly gray town topped my personal record for waiting in any one place. At 5 1/2 hours, it knocks St. George, UT off it's worthless throne. Technically, Utah still holds the record for longest without a ride, because about 3 1/2 hours in, I got picked up by a really nice guy (that had a dready son) in his BMW and dropped off on the other side of town, where i waited the additional two hours. After that though, a couple more puddle-jumpers* got me quickly up out of the fog to the hills south of Boston. It was here, finally in the sun again after several gray days, that i snagged my second golden ticket* of the summer. I'm not really sure why people keep deciding to go so far out of their way to help me, but it is very greatly appreciated. The only thing I can do is to keep "paying it forward," so if anyone, anywhere, ever needs help, with ANYTHING, my e-mail address is james.holzer@yahoo.com. Seriously, please let me know. So back to it, Erich and Toni, two truly amazing and beautiful people, decided to go about 500 miles out of their way to drop me off at Sadie's front doorstep in Orono, ME. I'm not sure how long exactly the trip took, but they dropped me off at 1 in the morning and turned around to drive all the way back to Boston, some 250 miles away. After I insisted, they at least let me fill their gas tank once, but then still bought me dinner at the restaurant in the gas station. Thank you again guys,may fortune shine brightly on you every day of your lives. So I'm in Maine. As per usual, its raining, and the weather looks gloomy for weeks. That doesn't matter though, because it is the summer solstice, and i get to spend it with Sadie and Leona Jenkins some of my favorite people on the east coast. It is Sadie's birthday, and her brand new, 8-week-old Shiba Inu/Lab mix is on her way, and Leona is inside making some of the most delicious jam anyone will ever eat. I've spent the last week since then hanging out with the awesome new puppy, and Sadie's supercool roommates. It rained most of the time I was here, but I was able to get some great pictures today running around in the sun. they will be up on here and on my facebook just as soon as i find a cord for my camera. we found this old civil war fort called Ft. Knox, and walked in until we couldn't see light anymore. It was super-spooky and super-cool. I definately want to go back with headlamps and ghostgear sometime. It has been an amazing week resting and recuperating with one of my best friends in the entire world, and her brand new puppy. They have a bad ass house that centers indirectly around the sustainable agriculture program at Maine University, and has almost two dozen chickens running around to compliment their diverse garden, all set to the backdrop of the lush old growth forests of "down east" Maine. Thanks again to everyone there for making my stay so pleasant. Keep up the great work. Tomorrow, I will head for Buffalo, NY to see a ten dollar Yonder show. I am very fucking excited. Its been over 6 months since my last Yonder fix, time to fill it. Wish me luck everyone, and thanks for following.




[editors note - 1. a puddle-jumper is a common term used for flights that are short enough to deem them worthy of the smaller, slower moving aircraft. When hitchhiking, you get a lot of rides that are only going up a couple exits, or only to the next small town. I'm not generally in the habit of turning down rides, especially if I've been waiting long, so from here-on-out i will refer to these kind of rides as puddle-jumpers.
2. a golden ticket is one of those once-in-a-lifetime, can't believe your ears kind of rides; the kind of a ride where you make a lasting, meaningful connection with the driver(s). Generally (though not exclusively) more than several hundred miles, and optimally, one that gets you to your current destination, or becomes your new destination.

The Torch is Yours!

When I first began this journey and this blog I only saw it from a small world perspective. By small I mean one in which I was the epicenter. But as I progress through this journey the "I" in it disappears to reveal a much bigger purpose; One of global change and unity. A possibility for something bigger than myself, bigger than any one of us. An idea of human beings living to help one another selflessly. The ability to bring back faith in human kind. Somewhere between the creation of agriculture and now we all became lost in our own mythology, one that teaches that we are flawed, that says we are meant to conquer. When truly deep down we know this is not our way. We are here to live for service, to live a life that is humble and at peace. I am more sure of it every day. With each smile I see, and with each stranger who goes out of their way to help a person they don't even know. We as people may be lost but there is a feeling deep inside all of us that knows how to get home. We must change, if we ourselves don't feel it we only need to look at the earth. We are being told to change, it is going to happen with or without us! There is still much good in humanity. I will walk and speak of it until the message stands on its own two feet. This has been my revelation. I am not the one who brings about change, it is you the reader, the people who decided that helping another person is worth our time! We together can make a change, with each smile we give, with each selfless act we can impact another life. As this grows you will make the difference that this world yearns for.

Serenity in the Storm

Of my little vacation from the vacation out here in New York, I have spent the strong majority of my time in Central Park. I found one of the coolest trees ever, and made all kinds of new friends climbing around in it and playing around it. I wandered around The Metropolitan Museum of Art (the Met) and saw a very comprehensive exploration of Franscis Bacon's career, as well as Michaelangelo's first painting ever (12 years old, and already the kid was a freaking master). I always forget how incredible it is to be surrounded by some of the most respected and revered paintings in the world. Then, i got to wander around New York with one of the great loves of my life and eat gelato that was so good it could only be described as a mouthgasm. What a fuckin city. I love it. And what a funny thing love is... so damn hard to find, and so much harder to hold on to once found, but DAMN! Once you have loved, it doesn't matter how dark the night gets, how cold and and wet and lonely, there is always a little place in your heart where the fire never dies, because it is tended by forces greater than you. And you need that fire, because there is a particular kind of loneliness that comes with the freedom out there in the wind; a kind of sad solitude that comes from the knowledge that you might well be actively trading a warm bed next to a beautiful woman somewhere for that rough patch of ground you're sleeping on. Oddly enough, the nights I do get to sleep in a real bed are even harder sometimes. Sure, a soft bed is great, but once the lights are out and you're left with only your memories to keep you company, a damn pillow just can't cuddle back... at least with the dirt to keep you company there is some kind of rightiousness in it...or something... And of course, there're always the dreams. That dream that she's somewhere up around that next corner, the gypsy woman that'll tame my wanderin soul and come travel the world with me. Just around the next corner, waitin for me to catch up... Weary thoughts on a cold lonely night in Queens. I guess I'll send this one out to all the women i've loved, and all the ones to come. Thanks for the memories, I still love you all...

Kripalu...home sweet home!

I am back in the Berkshires my second home. Showing up at Kripalu is a fresh breath after a long hall across the country. Me and James have decided to split for this section of the journey but will be back together by next week. Kripalu for those of you who don't know, which is probably the majority is a yoga center that I lived at for nearly 8 months. I love it here. Everywhere you look is a kind face, open to talking or listening to the deepest of subjects. This truly is an epicenter of good.

Past Behind...Future Ahead...I am Now

NY is an organism, the heart of America. People coming and leaving like the molecules of an atom. Everyone travels around as if the poeple next to them don't exist, but secretly are all interdependent. I set on a journey to be free of the system and some how the universe has been bringing me into its very ventricles, from Denver, to Tuscon, to LA, to SF, to Chicago, to NY. I will surely learn from every place I go. Soon I will be heading to my second home the Berkshires to see my friends and collected family, and of course home sweet home, Kripalu. Thanks Dylan for showing us an amazing time in NY! My stay would not have been the same without you!

THIS...IS...BROOKLYN!!!!

New York, New York. Personally, my favorite city on the planet. After a slight mixup rerouted us through the tunnel from New Jersey, we found ourselves in the heart of Manhattan. It had been several years since I had been to New York, and the cities pulse instantly rejuvenated me from our 14 hour drive from Chicago. We worked our way over to the UN building to get keys, then out to my families house in Queens. From there, we went back downtown to meet up with one of my oldest and best friends, K D Edrich. Between working her three jobs and playing in several bands, she still managed to give us a grand tour of almost everything NYC has to offer. From the rivers and parks, to REAL Brooklyn neighborhoods teeming with life, to the psychotic circus that is Times Square, NYC is a place unlike any other. Life is happening here with the feverish intensity of a hurricane, and it never stops. Thanks to David for the smooth sailing all the way from Chi town, hope you had as good a time as we did in the big city. The trip has already taken on a new meaning and direction, and I feel as if I am walking through a dream most of the time. Everywhere we go, we are met with enthusiasm and generosity, and my faith in mankind grows by the second. As of this morning, we have parted ways for a week or so, so that we might be more efficient with our time out east. Chase has headed north already, to go see his family from the Birkshires, and I am sticking around New York for another couple days to try and see everyone here. I will be heading up to Maine on Thursday or Friday to see Sadie, and then probably down to Kripalu to meet back up with Chase. With our first date of the summer, The Northwest String Summit, only five weeks away, and 3,000 something miles between, I am feeling slightly crunched for the first time this summer. Maybe it's just being back east, where life moves just a little bit faster anyway. Either way, the road has been quite a bit cushier for the last couple weeks. It is very nice, and also a little strange having a house to myself. A little dull, but still nice. I think i am going to go try and work on my book now, so thanks for listening.

7am I meant 7pm

So today we will leave for NY. After getting up at 5am and traveling across town to meet our ride we find that there was a slight misunderstanding, that being we thought we where meeting at 7am and our ride thinking we where meeting at 7pm. Needless to say we where meant to stay in Chicago one more day so that we could find a very special book. Weird how the universe works those things out. So the domino effect unfolds, we where early by 12 hours and the ride that had dropped us off had already left, so we headed on the train to downtown and wound up next to a Barnes and Noble at which point I remembered I had a gift card from years back stored in the back hollows of my wallet. As James engrossed himself in the fantasy world of the DC Universe I decided to roam the store. As I walked I pondered how you where ever to choose a book if you didn't have a specific one in mind. So I decided to go off of what covers attracted me, sure enough I came along a large book with a samurai drawn on the cover. The Art of Shen KU, a book that every person should have. Within this book is the answer and directions to just about anything and everything you could ever need to know. It is life and the art of living it, it is the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy. With that being said, we will head for NY tonight and will be there by tomorrow morning, where we will have more stories for you. Thanks again to all of you who have been part of the journey, without each one of you our path would not exist. P.S. A special thanks to Jerry and his business friend for buying two guys off the buss dinner. I am sorry if I got your name wrong, but we meet so many people. Let me say though that that meal was the first warm one we had in a while and it was a nice welcome home. To everyone THANK YOU! You are beautiful! Don't forget to smile.

The Journey of a Lifetime

First off, let me say thank you San Fransisco. Details of our night of debauchery will have to be edited for now, but Damn! The savage burn we wrought on the San Fransisco department of human resources makes me feel like we are finally earning our title of Gonzo Pirates. The Homeward Bound program is designed to get kids off the streets of San Fran courtesy of a free greyhound ticket. The only stipulation is that you must have someone on the receiving end "sign" for you by way of verbal confirmation that you are coming home to live with them, and will no longer be on the streets. So we are now poor lost little runaways seeking the refuge of an easier life "back in Chicago." We are currently sitting at somewhere around 4,500 miles, and are bound for the east coast. Right now we are enjoying the amazing courtesy and hospitality of Chase's father and stepmother, who have gotten us off the "mean streets" of SF. We will hang out and dig Chicago for a few days then work our way to NY and up through New England to Canada. We were fortunate enough to have a day layover in Denver and were able to catch a Rocky Mountain sunset in between our two day long stints on the "dirty dog." This rapid change of destination has thrust the journey into a whole new direction, and even a whole new level as we quickly cross the entire continent. I am very interested to see what it is really like hitchhiking out east, and to see where our journey will bring us next. This trip truly is to be the new defining point in both of our lives, and even the ear-to-ear grin on my face does little to convey my excitement. As we step into the truly unknown, they bounties ahead of us are limitless. Thanks again for following, and see you all soon.

The Map So Far!

From the Haight to Chi Town

So we made it to San Francisco to good old Haight Street. This is one of the craziest places I have ever been! Drugs and street kids rule the streets and at night the cops don't even stop. We wandered in during the day and found ourselves a street family to show us the ropes. Thanks Hippie Kid and Squirell Nutz! Lets just say you have to hold your stoop. In one street you will see almost everything you could think of, from the crazys to the coolest people out there. Travelers, Dead Heads, Punks, OGs, all living in the same area, or at least passing through. "Get out of Haight while you still have your face" this is the saying you hear most. After one crazy night on the Haight we were off to Chi town. Were we have now arrived. Something I learned on this last stint across the country is that you can never know how someone is feeling because you can only see through your own eyes, and whether you like the show or not you must play your part. To all of the people following this blog I miss each one of you, and can't wait till the next time I see you!

High Times on Haight Street

Well, we were prepared for an adventure, and boy did we get one. I'm not really sure what happened, but we woke up on a greyhound headed for Chicago, so, more to come...

Three weeks in...

Hi everybody! and thanks for checking in on the adventure. Sorry we haven't written in a few days, we've been kind of out of touch. This entry finds us at the Haight-Ashbury branch of the San Fransisco public library system. After Ojai, we headed north to Santa Barbara, and Isla Vista. Very funky cool place, kind of like the hill in Boulder, but with an ocean. The first people we met in I.V. were some beautiful, awesome girls high on acid for their first time who welcomed us very warmly to their town. From there, we kept heading north and met the real life Big Lebowski. "The Dude" lives in Ragged Point, CA which is the window to Big Sur. Big Sur is maybe one of the coolest places i've been yet. 90 or so miles of wilderness and state parks running literally straight into the ocean. We got to hang out and drink a beer at the top of one of the 4 waterfalls to hit the ocean anywhere in North America. We made it from there to Santa Cruz, where everyone i had been trying to find was out of town, and so we hit the road again, and made it this morning to beautiful San Fransisco. We are going to go head out into Golden Gate Park right now and see what kind of craziness we can rustle up. And if everyone out there could do us a favor and go hug their soft bed for us, that would be awesome. The hammocks are great and all, but i would murder baby seals for a nice pillow top with with a couple of big pillows right now...

On We Go!

There is something in man that causes us to yearn for adventure, the longing for the freedom of the road. It is our own reservations that keep us caged. When you are on the road there are no reservations, you don't know where you will end up, how, or with whom. All that can be certain is that where I stand is where I am. It is not a soft lifestyle, and the choice to live this life is not one to be taken lightly. Long days with little direction other then the next moment, and little sleep other then the silent slumber of the ocean waves. Like us the ocean is in constant flux. A world where at times the ground moves under your feet. You blink your eyes and relize you are on a completly different side of the spectrum then ever before. Life experience in a concentrate is the glass I chose to drink, and the bounty has been priceless.

I promise to have more pictures soon but with a 15 minute time limit it wont be today.

Moments to Last a Lifetime

Wow! Where to start. The last time we touched base we where in Scottsdale. We are now in a small town called Ojai. Now how we came to get here. It was hot in the middle of Arizona when we decided to leave, but we had no idea the ride we were in for. We were picked up by Saving Grace and Sarah Lee, who I have to say are some pretty awesome girls. One second we are on the side of the road and next thing we know we are in two girls car headed for Venice beach. Not only did these girls pick us up but they decided to drive us the whole way to Cali! We arrive in Venice beach and it is just getting dark. We spent the two nights on a roof on the beach since we were told that if we slept on the beach we would be arrested. After spending a day in Venice Beach with all the crazy "Wing Nuts" as they are called we headed up the Pacific Crest Highway. We were given a free ride by one of the nicest bus drivers anyone has ever met and then caught a ride into Malibu. While we where in Malibu we found an amazing tree to sit and eat lunch under. The picture barely captures it's unique beauty. After a short meal we where on are way to Ventura county where we would be lucky yet again and be picked up by three awesome girls. Jasmine, Lana, and Shelly took us to a little hidden paradise in Ojai where we are currently. There is a beautiful hot spring out here and more swimming holes then one could count. We will be heading out of here tonight, and will be trying to make it to San Bernnadino. More soon!

California or Bust!

Well, there is a lot to catch up on, and we are still trying to figure out the best way to fuse our writing together, so if some of these posts seem a little redundant, we apologize. Anyway, the last post found us in Scottsdale, AZ. Real quick note about the desert. Fuck the desert. I'm sorry to anyone that lives there and loves it, it just isn't for me. Arizona was full of amazing people with terrible sad stories, Arian nation assholes, and lots of dry sun. After Nora dropped us off on I-10, we caught one more ride up to the other side of town, then landed one hell of a hitch. No more than 30 seconds after we walked up to a new on ramp, two beautiful girls in a silver cougar pulled up and waved us over. We hopped in and met Saving Grace and Sarah Lee, two of the coolest people in Phoenix. They were only heading a little ways up the road, but decided after a few exits that what they really needed to be doing with their day was driving to California to get us to Venice beach, a drive of some 350 miles. After driving around Phoenix for about an hour collecting supplies for the trip, we hit the road headed for the coast with "Red Hot Love" blasting out of the radio (that shot is going to be the opening scene for the movie, by the way...). The only snag along the way was the L.A. memorial day traffic that all four of us had forgotten about completely. I thought Denver had it bad sometimes, but i have never seen traffic backed up 100 miles outside of town. Crazy. Anyway, thanks again to our two lovely chauffeurs, and a note to Saving Grace: your light will shine so much brighter if you let it shine on the world than it will locked up in a black hole. So that brings us to Venice Beach. A totally cool place, except for rabid police officers and hordes of crazy wingnuts living on the beach. We showed up, to Venice Beach specifically, because we had been told that these were beaches that we could sleep on, however when we arrived, we found that this was not the case. After receiving several mixed messages from locals, we decided to ask a local police officer so that we could truly find out the score. He told us that if we were caught sleeping on his beach, not only would he cite us with a ticket, he would also tie us to the nearest palm tree and beat us senselessly with billy sticks while his partner tazed us for good measure, then take us to the nearest county jail and lock us in the pen with the "sodomizers". Needless to say, Los Angeles is not a city I feel i need ever visit again. After a few sleepless nights on a construction site rooftop we had found, we got the hell out of L.A. by way of the Pacific Coast Highway. While walking along the road in Malibu, Chase made an interesting observation: "Wow, this is really a beautiful place, too bad rich people have made it so that only they can live here." We eventually made it to Ventura, CA, where we were picked up by the next group of the coolest people ever. Special thanks to the totally awesome Jasmine, Shelly, Lana, and Crystal for taking us to some locals secret hot springs located in the beautiful Matilija Valley. We spent a whole day, evening, and next morning soaking in the beautiful, naturally landscaped sulfur pools, meeting all sorts of cool people, then set out this morning. We had only made it about 1/2 mile down the road when we stopped to ask one of the residents of the valley if we could use their hose to fill up our water. This request turned into an offer of an afternoons landscaping work at 12 bucks an hour in exchange for lunch and a soak in their own private soaking tub. Thank you again so much Jeff and Karen for your hospitality and the work. You have an amazing home and we both feel incredibly fortunate for having been able to witness it. I think that is about it for now, we are currently in Ojha, CA, heading slowly north. California is awesome, and thanks to all of you for taking this journey with us. See you soon.

Water Wars and Good People!!!

Thank you so much to Hellen and Lisa! They had the heart to pick us up when no one else would. After 2.5 hrs of waiting in the middle of Tuscon for a ride they picked us up, not only did they pick us up but they bought us lunch and then went 40 miles out of their way both ways to get us to the front doorstep of our newest destination. That destination being Scottsdale where we have been treated with the utmost kindness. Thanks to Nora and her intire family for making our weekend a blast. Between water fights, good food, and great company we feel like two of the luckiest guys in the world. In the morning we will be heading towards California. Wish us the best of luck. And to everyone following this, thanks so much for your support and friendship, we promise to have more fun and exciting experiences to share.